Prayer of Uncertainty

Along with a couple of other people, I was in charge of the worship time for the Bible department's Senior Blessing. Our worship time had three movement: thanksgiving, uncertainty and faith. We are thankful for the past four years, and for the things that God has done in us and with us. But we are uncertain about the next phase in our lives. Nevertheless, our faith is strong and our trust is in God. 

I wrote the prayer of uncertainty. I don't know what I'm doing after I graduate in May. I don't know where I'll go, or what kind of work I'll do. And I'm just a little bit worried about it.

Father God we come before you with the winds of change,

As we ready ourselves to begin a new chapter in our lives.

The path that lies ahead is not always clear;

We confess that we are uncertain and confused.

 

We seek direction, but our words seem to echo in an empty room.

Only silence follows, where we would hear your voice.

We wait for your answer, but hear none;

We confess that we are frustrated and discouraged.

 

Today feels frantic and tomorrow feels uncertain,

Filled with anxiety, stress and apprehension.

The joys of today pass us by as we worry about tomorrow;

We confess that we want to be in control

 

We see how you have worked in the past

And we acknowledge your hand in our lives.

You have led us out from Egypt and parted the sea before us.

But we confess that we too grumble, as the Israelites did.

 

And so we ask that you surround us this day,

Surround us with your love and presence.

Bless us with your peace and rest and strength.

Guide us through the days that lie before us.

 

Guide us by your hand;

Guide us in your love;

Guide us for your glory.

Amen.

Abilene News Headlines

Most days I check the weather and news on KTXS website. Today, two of the headlines read thus:

"After Attack By Angry Cow, Deputy Dies Of Injuries"
"Abilene Billboards Predict the End Coming in May"

I got a kick out of both of these, though I felt bad about laughing at the first. As any human would be, I am saddened that a man was killed. But you have to admit, an angry cow attack is fairly humorous.

The latter headline is, again, both humorous and sad. This is one of the many essentially-unfounded claims that we know when Christ will come again. The evidence, which involves 2 Peter and the story of the Noah and the flood, seems somewhat ludicrous to me. It's sad that people are spending money to proclaim this on billboards.

On a completely unrelated note, my presentation at the research festival went well this morning. I even won an award!

The Magic Hour

I am currently preparing for a presentation at ACU's Undergraduate Research Festival and working on my Honors capstone project. As a result, I have not yet had a chance to post pictures or stories from Egypt. Unfortunately, you will still have to wait. In my research of thin places, I discovered this song by Andrew Peterson, a Christian folk artist. I love the lyrics to this peaceful song and have enjoyed listening to it as I work.

Rocky Mountain High

I had seen mountains before. Mostly in pictures and in films, but I had seen them. In my distant memory I had splashed in an icy lake fed by the melting snow in the Swiss Alps. But this was different. I was older now and would remember these mountains for years to come.

The drive from Abilene, Texas to Denver, Colorado was long and flat. The road wound through prairie land, cutting a black strip through the golden grasses. Oil drills pumped monotonously on, pulling the thick liquid from the earth. The first sign that the plains were coming to an end was the silhouette of a volcano, rising in the distance. Soon pronghorn antelope replaced cattle and the road began to rise and fall, slowly at first, then increasing dramatically. I sat up taller as the van sped past the sign on the side of the road. “Welcome to Colorful Colorado.”

The road winds around a sharp turn and, suddenly, mountain peaks were visible. Hazy and yet somehow concrete. I felt the pull, was suddenly thankful for the long road that brought me there. I pressed my face against the window, eyes wide as everything disappeared in the face of the mountain range. I was alone with mountains. They towered majestically, just out of reach. Something sparked within me and my lips parted in awe. For a few moments I was lost, caught in a mountain-induced trance as I passed through Trinidad, a portal into another realm.

But as the van continued to roll on, the mountains faded out of sight. I twisted her head around, watching the mountains disappear from the rear window. Disappointed I watched as the road flattened. The Colorado lowlands lay before me and I was left wondering. Were the mountains even there? Or were they an ethereal gateway, offering a glimpse into heaven? Music drifted from the speaker, the voice of John Denver crooning and I heard him singing about me. She was born in the summer of her eleventh year, coming home to a place she never knew before.

Questions for God

One of my class assignments was to go to a public place off-campus and ask people a question. If you could ask God any question, what would it be?

After much agonizing, Anna and I finally worked up the courage to head over to Wal-Mart and talk to people. We walked the aisles, holding tightly to each other’s hands, and picked out people to approach. We had a fairly good response from most people, though a few were not as happy to talk to us. A couple of people had no answer and were not willing to think about one. Two people standing in the pharmacy line immediately turned away from us as we began talking, shaking their heads, unwilling to even listen. We both had a hard time with that response but shook the dust off our feet and moved on.

Thankfully most of the sweet little grandmothers that we found ourselves talking to were much more willing to open up. Some were ready with their answers, but most had to ponder it for a while. Some asked questions out of pure curiosity and others gave very personal and heartfelt replies. We found it interesting that while most people asked questions, a few were requesting some action of God.

Why did he create ants?

Can you make everyone well that is sad?

When is he coming back?

How can he love me so much that he would save me?

Did John die?

Is my son dancing on streets of gold?

Why isn’t he down here helping us right now?

(She works to help agnostics believe through Facebook).

Why was my son killed by a drunk driver?

Why does harm come to little children?

Can’t you make the world better?

What’s heaven like?

Nothing pops into my head

Estimated time of his return

I love Jesus. And I’m so thankful he died on the cross. I’m getting baptized next Sunday.

Tell him how thankful I am that he died on the cross for me.

Two people turned away as we talked to them, shaking their heads.

Will we know people in heaven?

How are things named? Like lipstick.

Why all the war?

Why does he let people have kids who don’t make good parents?

Make sure my children are safe and happy. And I ask him for that every night.

Interview with Myself

It has once again been ages since I've posted anything. Hopefully I'll start posting more this semester. I'm taking a creative nonfiction writing class, and I plan to post some of my pieces here.

If you follow this blog, you should also take a look at my new blog, A Year in My Life. I know it may sound crazy that I started a new blog when I don't even regularly update the two I already have. But this new blog is different. I've always wanted to try Project 365, which simply means I take a picture every day and post it. Some of the pictures are symbolic of something that happened during the day. Others are my attempts to improve my photography skills. Still others will be fairly random, just because I've already found it difficult to find something to take a picture of every single day.

Our first assignment in my writing class was to write out an interview with ourselves. The questions come from a newspapers article. I just supplied the answers.

Rebekah Childers is a senior Biblical Text major at Abilene Christian University. She spends much of her free time reading, escaping to far-off places both real and imagined. When she gets a chance Rebekah makes some of these trips a reality, traveling around the country and the world.

When I grow up, I want to be … a curator in a museum. I love history, particularly British history and that of ancient civilizations.

We hear you create illuminated manuscripts. Yes, that’s one of my hobbies. Using ink and paint, I intricately write out scriptures and decorate the page with designs and Celtic knotwork.

You also ride horses frequently. What is it about horseback riding that you enjoy? Horses are beautiful animals. I enjoy the freedom that I feel when I’m on the back of a galloping horse. Horseback riding is fun and it’s actually good exercise as well.

What would you rather be doing right now? Playing the piano. I’m not very good, but I find it to be very relaxing and peaceful. Musical instruments help me unwind after long days full of work and stress.

Shhh! Don’t tell anyone that … I worked hard to invent an Honors capstone project as an excuse to go to Egypt this semester. Now I get to write a forty-page paper in the next few weeks, but I also get to climb Mount Sinai.

What was your proudest moment? Possibly when I went paragliding in the Swiss Alps. I don’t often try new things and I was very proud of myself for jumping off a mountain, even if I did have a paragliding wing and an instructor attached to me.

It really stinks when … people chew food with their mouths open. This unfortunate and uncouth habit is possibly my biggest pet peeve.

In the dictionary, my face is next to … introvert. I am a very shy person and one of my greatest fears is speaking with people who I don’t know very well.

The worst advice I ever took was … to pitch a tent on an RV site, at the bottom of a small slope. Torrential rain later that evening ensured that I was in for a wet and cold night.

They’re burying a time capsule. What are you putting in it? The photobooks that I’ve made, a DVD of The Office, a can of Dr. Pepper and a dollar bill.

I would drop all my plans tonight to … fly to England. Oxford is my second home and I visit as often as I can. I would go back to Oxford at the drop of a hat.

Invite three people to dinner. Who are they? J.R.R. Tolkien, the apostle Paul and Sherlock Holmes.

If they gave me a million dollars, I would … give the first ten percent away and then pay off my college loans. I would set enough aside to also pay for my sister and brother’s schooling. I’m not sure what I would do with the rest. Probably save most of it and then travel a little; I’ve always wanted to go to New Zealand and Australia.

Even if they gave me a million dollars, there’s still no way I would … fly to Vegas and gamble. There are a lot of things I would never do with a million bucks, but that’s the first thing that came to mind.

So, what’s so great about you? I’m very trustworthy and a great listener. My friends always feel that they can tell me anything. People know that I will listen without judgment and I won’t share their secrets with others.

If I’ve learned anything at all… it’s that I tend to place artificial limitations on myself. When I don’t want to do something or am frightened to do it, I can almost always come up with a relatively viable reason why I cannot.