Hate is a Strong Word

I woke up bright and early this morning and got ready to go to church. I wasn’t the only one, either. We were all bundled up, umbrellas in hand to shield us from the rain. I pulled open the front door and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a sign posted on the outside. “Saturday: set clocks back one hour.” With a heavy sigh we all trudged back upstairs, lamenting the last hour that could have been spent sleeping. None of realized that it was already time to “fall back”. So here I am with an hour to wait until it’s once again time to set out. On this dreary Sunday morning I am sitting here impatiently. I suppose that makes this a good time for reflection.

We had a worship time in Girona while our group was in Spain. We talked about being a better community and loving each other more fully. Our main scripture was 1 Corinthians 13. At the end of the service we split into groups and confessed something that we don’t do a good job with. As I’m reflecting on this a bit I realize:

I am not patient, I am not kind. I do envy, I do boast, I am proud. I am rude, I am self-seeking, I am easily angered, I do keep record of wrongs. Sometimes I don’t rejoice with the truth. I don’t always protect, always hope, always persevere. Often, I fail.

Another verse that has been running through my head is John 13:35, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” People will know we are Christians by our love. Ultimately, Christ’s presence within me will be evidenced by my love. In Corinthians, Paul defines love for us. I’ve examined myself and been found wanting. It’s apparent that I need to work on loving others. For if I don’t love, not much else matters. I realize that I am not a terrible person. Even so, I fall short of the glory of God. Love is redeeming, and I’m not really all that loving of a person. There's a song that I sing sometimes, "Hate is a strong word, but I really, really, really don't like you." I find the lyrics amusing, but it's true, isn't it? I don't hate but sometimes I really dislike, which means I'm not loving.

Though I need to work on so much in regards to loving others, I have recently recognized one area in which I am particularly weak. I am not a very patient person. I don’t like to wait on people and I get excessively anxious. I like to be doing something and I therefore get nervous when I’m just standing around. And so my prayer this morning, in this time of waiting, is a plea for greater patience and a fuller love.

I want to love more fully